Well I made a blog. And this is it. I don't see how it will affect my everyday life so I just went 'What the hey' and made one. I don't see myself typing long deep meaningful stories or talking about how I am going to touch some hidden darkness within myself. Naaahhhh that won't happen. Nope not all all. Well I think I should make my first post now you know to make it seem more like an official starter post.
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Today I actually cried. Three times. In front of people. I must say that is a first because I strongly believe in the saving face idea and not showing unneeded emotions in front of others. I don't know why I keep thinking it's wrong I just guess I was raised to think that. Well back to post, my 'friends', Maple and Pine, seemed to have had a problem with the way I am. They say I am a living definition of a bully (which I honestly don't see how I am the definition of one) and that I can't handle taking in other's ideas (I will get into this soon). They said that I call my friends rude names and make them cry. Pine even had the nerve to say he knew my friends better than I did which honestly left me shock for a moment.
I mean who is someone my friends and I just met five months ago to tell me that he knew more about the people I have been talking to for years. Because I already know I am not one of the main people in my friend group. I can handle that. Not being the one who is first called for anything or just being the odd one out, yeah I can handle that as long as I am the only one who feels that way about my position. But when some strangers tells me that I really am just an extra, I don't know if kind of struck me. hard. Like hard enough to make me want to block out the world and run to small area where I can go to be alone. Ugh, I just rambled on, I will try not to do that often.
Another reason I angry at them is because of the 'I can't take others ideas well'. I wanted to scream at them when I heard that. They have NO idea what I have to do for the club. (Oh yeah I am President of the Anime/Culture Club at college :D ) They feel that them yelling their ideas at me will make me want to go 'Sure since your the loudest I will follow your plan.'? NO it doesn't it pisses me off especially when it's a bad idea and no one will have to think on how it's a bad idea because they just know it is. One member suggested we let the school decide how we will handle an event. And I said no as soon as I heard it because come on, the event is planned to go in a month and it's easier for the members who are holding the event to decide right then and there then waiting for some strangers who probably doesn't give a fart about what we do.
And Maple got on my case on how I seem to shot him out more than anyone. I will be honest I don't see myself hanging around him anymore than I need to now. He talks crap about me to others and I never actually have heard a nice thing come out his mouth that was pointed towards me. I complemented him a few times but all he does is call me out on everything. It's like I can't be on equal standings with him. He says I try to make everything a competition, well excuse me for thinking 'Hey we could have a friendly competition because we really don't share that many things.' Which I don't understand. We like the same things, it's not like we are two opposites, How can we not find a common ground? Maybe I should just give up that friendship because thinking about Maple makes my headache because it seems that he has already given up the idea of being friends with me and Pine will just follow his league.
=__= Here I thought college was going well.
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